the posts are soo screwed..

Title: I have had hard times but days like this I just need to flip to dedrain those anger...

some pple are real assholes. whether they realise it or not or know anything about it, I don't care okay. i am just trying to say I have had enough pple bothering me that I don't need more pple breathing now my backs okay. THIS IS MY BLOG RIGHT? SO IF I WANNA SAY SOMETHING I SHLD VOICE IT OUT RIGHT AND HOW AM I TO DO IT IF YOU WON'T EVEN $#%@! LET ME DO THAT...this has gotta stop. if you are smart you will know I am not on the best of my moods so don't bother me will you. just leave me alone. whatthehell. i am not born to be consistently critisized. i had it okay stop asking me why. some things have no explanations. they just happen there cannot be reasons. okay.. just bloody live with it like me and stop asking me WHY. i won't answer it and I won't know how either so leave me alone. if you would move aside and let me do my things... okay its like damn annoying already. if you aren't happy leave okay. scram off this place just stop bothering me will you!

like sometimes pple are weird. let me give u examples of the things i went through today.
my mother was bugging me after school and talkign to me about a lot of stuff that was not helping since I was already having a bloody migraine which is still happening now. She was talkign about stuff I wasn't interested to know, that made me mad, that tried to push my inner anger out that only makes things worse. Wow. targeting me. 3 goals with one mouth,that shld be a record.
and then my sister had to quarrel / a.k.a get angry with me for no damn reason. I wasn't even talkign to her, just doing my work on the comp. she wamted to talk to me first. LIKE HELLO. .. and then I was recording a floor gym routine on the comp and she said the music sounded ghostly. I wasn't even angry at her can ... I just looked at her like they way I look at pple when I am slightly irritated. cos I was tryign to do somethign and her comment just messed up my work kinda look. then she suddenly burst out saying I was very easily frustrated. and then got angry at me for VOICING MY BLOODY OPINIONS. I HAVE HUMAN RIGHTS TO SPEAK OKAY. DUN BE SUCH A ... why can't you see I am busy+tired, and not talk to me. and then it went on something me having to inform pple what I do. / get ready then pple won't mess up my stuff if I was recording..... hello. i just looked at you. i dint even shout at you. I am bloody tired eh. why wld i bother you and argue NOW walao. and besides then both of us said at the same time. IF CANNOT LET PPLE DISRUPT THEN RETAKE LAH. precisely retake. so whats the deal huh? and then she said WHY YOU ALWAYS LIKE TO GET ANGRY EASILY AND START TO SHOUT ALREADY/COMPLAIN ALR. erm hello...



when did i bloody effing shout? i dint even shout. u obviously haven't seen me try shoutign before okay. then dun accuse me left right and centre when you haven't even got the problem right okay.
and she asked me to go away like out of the room and just slp now since I am tired instead of quarrelling. that really pulled me off. really OFF. so i am writing a piss off post here. what the heck. i always have to put up with pple's shitty attitudes, and their temper tantrums and obey pple and see their face colours. and i am expected to NOT SHOW MINE.
KEEP QUIET.
AND DUN GET ANGRY EASILY. then




what about all you pple then huh.
%$#@!&*^&%$#@!!#$%^&?/8&^%#@!#%#!!$^*(^%$#@!?











so shitty can. thnaks alot. life sure is fair . sure is FAIR. famn fair...
so bloody pissing alr.
and the pple in school just keep bloody pushign their luck.
I feel like I always have to respecta nd bow down and talk nicely to the pple when I was in like the ---king grp in the first place when hello you were still in diapers crawlign around the area I was alr in like HELLO. ANY IDEA I WAS ALREADY EXISTANT B4 YOU CAME ALONG. what the hell. and nobody is suppoting me and I stay? yup i am sure to see yr black face and wait for you to dao me?
sorry I rather die than sit in front of you and see your shitty face. like I even want to.
and anw, even if you think you are so awesome bear in mind. NOT THE WHOLE WORLD WANT YOU ITS JUST LIKE 2 PPLE so dun think its such a bloody big deal.
honestly i rather be otu than in. at least I get my freedom back. and like I want to live my whole life sitting around seeing your ugly and stupid faces. no thanks. I rather leave if I am smart enough I rather leave. I am not runnign away mind you nor tryignt o get awaya nd avoid things. I am dumpign my entire EX-LIFE BEHIND OKAY. happy? now you got the answer right.

since I am always transparent,
tlakignuninteretsign things to you,
is domineering, and selfish,
is unwillign to talk to you,
is not as interestign as the other two,
is not part of the grp that downgrades me not even able to sit at a table of 4 and pple won't even move so that I can sit too,
then honestly I DUN WANT THE SEAT. u rather stand for like 22 hrs than come along see yr fugly face and sit with u.
bloodybloodybloody.a nd the pple that used to stand up for me, now shut the hell uop and say lets talk and expect me to call them to find a solution, nvr even see that this is not even my bloody fault and then accuse pple and blame pple ask me to find solution to it. hello this is not my problem so instead of ssolvign it. i dump it. now you all can reunion kays. have a bloody happy life then. bye.

Title: things aren't always the same, its hard on some days

Sometimes I think that I am already rather fortunate in what I do everyday. like for gymnastics, I only sustained a bad ankle injury but beyond the beauty of gymnastics theres always a facade of fear and a mirage of talents. It never dies away and its really hard to be number one all the time. the injuries are very scary. though the sport is more than just winning I think whats more scary is that it never fails to frighten you a little. like how anytime you make one wrong move and you can just get paralysed. but this sport taught me really lots of stuff about friendship, sportsmanship, jealousy,hard work, the persperation, blood, sweat and tears and even how tough it is to build up your strength, stamina, artistry and balance.

without fail sometimes beign a gymnast is tough it takes toughness, its not easy to be one beyond that beauty in its creativitysuch as like the displayed ways shown. yeah its hard. i know it. but people with courage may not live forever, but people with caution will never live. its ahrd to tell when u acutally live. and learn the skills and acheive but with a chance to show it or to learn I know very well I should do it. its hard some days but it should never fail to bring you down and thats one good thing you learn aabout gym, you never give up no matter what. and though it gets tough and hard on those days, you still continue and thats what makes a gymnast.

here's a video.
what it takes to be a gymnast.


and thats what matters(:
xoxo, gillian